Top 5 List Part 2

Top 5 things you might say if you are accused of harassment at work

5. Does anyone remember the Constitution and Amendment I?

4. I didn't say any #*@! to that ##*%*@* person

3. I guess dinner and a movie is out

2. Did you hear the one about the traveling salesman and the farmers daughter?

1. To quote Alfred E Newman, "What Me Worry?"

Top 5 times it is ok to get road rage

5. At NASCAR racing

4. When you are late for the Dukes of Hazard marathon

3. Your mother-in-law has been in the back seat for 23 hours telling you how to drive

2. On Monday between 4:37:24 pm and 4:37:29 pm

1. When you are driving the car in front of Wal-Mart that cost a quarter

Top 5 ways to tell if your ex-wife is crazy

5. She doesn't want any alimony

4. Her answering machine message says "Hello, This is Sybil and I'm not me right now."

3. She doesn't have an attorney that is trying to take everything from you

2. She left you for a Wilfred Brimley look-a-like

1. She wants to get back together

Top 5 times you forget it's Monday

5. You haven't been home since the previous Thursday

4. You are in jail and it doesn't matter cause you will still be Suzy

3. You have fun at work

2. You live in Oklahoma and the only calendar you can find is from 1934

1. You don't give a flying flip what day it is because each day is Monday

Top 5 reasons to change your underwear

5. You live in Alabama and it is your family reunion

4. It's time for your monthly bath

3. You got grandpa's hand me downs

2. Because the hound dog won't go near you

1. You turned 33 and the label in the waistband said 30-32

Top 5 things that is good about getting older

5. You can finally say "These kids today are out of control"

4. Your car insurance premium goes down

3. You aren't carded when you buy chocolate

2. You finally understand the tv show Golden Girls

1. Plaids and stripes do match

Top 5 ways to overcome stress of the holidays

5. Give the fruit cake that you received 2 Christmases ago to Osma Ben Ladin

4. Find a quiet place to take a nap, like the bedroom of my ex wife

3. Go to the mall and watch ultimate wrestling at the toy department for the hottest toys that aren't in stock

2. Watch Martha Stewart's show and thank the gene pool that she is not related to you

1. Hibernate with the bears in northern Montana until March 2002

Top 5 Christmas movies that should be made

5. Gone With the Wrapping Paper

4. It's a Wonderful Sale at Macy's

3. What Women Want for Christmas

2. Wal-Mart Raider

1. Indiana Jones and The Crowd at the Mall

Top 5 top 5 lists

5. Top 5 reasons to act like a redneck

4. Top 5 ways to not spill your beer at a football game

3. Top 5 times it is ok to admit you like show tunes

2. Top 5 things you wish you could say to a cop without getting arrested

1. Top 5 slogans the Salvation Army never used to fight the evils of alcohol

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